1 00:00:01,069 --> 00:00:01,202 . 2 00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,137 - Today is a high-alert day. 3 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:04,472 I can't stress enough the importance 4 00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:05,506 of being vigilant and cautious 5 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:09,143 in light of the serious threats we'll be facing. 6 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:10,144 - Dina's right. 7 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:12,046 So everybody keep an eye out 8 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:14,148 for anything out of the ordinary. 9 00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:15,316 Okay? Good. 10 00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,252 - Let's watch out for people buying toilet paper, eggs, 11 00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,587 shaving cream, ketchup, 12 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,389 your squeezables, your squirtables-- 13 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:23,457 everything is a weapon today, okay? 14 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,593 - What about guns? - Those are fine. 15 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:28,062 Incidentally, that costume is ridiculous. 16 00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,497 Professor X doesn't drink martinis. 17 00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:32,266 - [with British accent] Yes, but James Bond does. 18 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:33,267 - Ugh. 19 00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:34,202 - Oh, come on, Dina. 20 00:00:34,235 --> 00:00:36,270 Stop being the Halloween version of Scrooge, 21 00:00:36,304 --> 00:00:37,271 whatever that is. 22 00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:39,373 Oh, Booge! 23 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,442 Boo, Scrooge. I just thought of that. 24 00:00:41,475 --> 00:00:42,543 - Yeah, don't be such a Booge. 25 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,811 Put on a costume. 26 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:46,847 all: Yeah, don't be a Booge! 27 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,748 - Ooh, peer pressure 28 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:49,550 from a group of people I don't respect. 29 00:00:49,583 --> 00:00:51,285 Now, that's scary. 30 00:00:51,319 --> 00:00:53,087 I mean, I can't believe I'm saying this, 31 00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:55,089 but Sandra's the only other grown-up here. 32 00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:58,092 - Actually, I am dressed up. I'm you. 33 00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,195 - What? - "Shut up, Sandra." 34 00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,530 - Shut up, Sandra! - [laughs] 35 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:03,864 - Oh, my God, that's so cool. 36 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,100 You're gonna be twinsies. - No, we're not. 37 00:01:06,134 --> 00:01:08,269 - Wait, you guys should stand together all day. 38 00:01:08,302 --> 00:01:09,237 - I'm up for it. 39 00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:12,140 - Yeah, I'm gonna find a costume to put on. 40 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,474 - [coughing] Booge. 41 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:17,111 [soft upbeat music] 42 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,380 - So let's keep an eye out for teens, tweens, 43 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,383 people who look inappropriately large or small... 44 00:01:23,484 --> 00:01:26,887 Are you guys even listening to me? 45 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,189 Hello? 46 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,623 [indistinct murmuring] - Nothing. 47 00:01:29,657 --> 00:01:31,125 - Yep, got it. 48 00:01:31,159 --> 00:01:34,128 [upbeat music] 49 00:01:34,162 --> 00:01:35,663 * 50 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:38,232 [spooky music] 51 00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:40,334 [wicked laughter] 52 00:01:40,368 --> 00:01:44,172 - It's a... interesting costume. 53 00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:47,475 - Yeah, you know, what's crazy are those--the boots. 54 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,877 - Boots. Yes, definitely the boots. 55 00:01:49,910 --> 00:01:53,247 - I cannot stop staring at her giant breasts. 56 00:01:53,281 --> 00:01:55,349 - You know, now that you say it... 57 00:01:55,383 --> 00:01:56,684 - There is a lot of décolletage, yes. 58 00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:57,685 - I'm seeing it. 59 00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,353 - You guys, relax. 60 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,455 We all think she looks hot, okay? 61 00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:03,224 - No, not me. [laughs] 62 00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:05,893 I mean, maybe with another personality in that body, sure, 63 00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:09,297 ta-dow, but you got to factor in the Dina that lies beneath. 64 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,165 - Not so fast. 65 00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:12,600 I want to know exactly what you're planning 66 00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:14,635 to do with this toilet paper. 67 00:02:14,668 --> 00:02:16,704 - Uh, I'll take extra bacon, extra cheese, 68 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,639 and if you can, make it extra quick, 69 00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:21,375 'cause this outlaw needs to get his grub on. 70 00:02:21,409 --> 00:02:23,244 - Boo! - Jeff. 71 00:02:23,277 --> 00:02:24,678 - Hey. - What are you doing here? 72 00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:26,914 - Oh, uh, there was a stabbing at the Kirkwood store. 73 00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,750 Well, that's boring, but, you know, 74 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:33,521 I'm in town till tomorrow, so, you know, I'm free tonight if-- 75 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:34,722 I know it's last-minute, but... 76 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,291 - Please, last-minute is fine. [chuckles] 77 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,327 It's not like I'm one of those people who can't go on a date 78 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,528 unless he, you know, works out 79 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,963 and waxes and plucks and bleaches-- 80 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,198 got to plan at least two or three outfits. 81 00:02:44,232 --> 00:02:47,535 - Good. All right, well, then I'll pick you up after work. 82 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,702 - That sounds great. - Right? 83 00:02:48,736 --> 00:02:50,704 - Jeff? - Hey. 84 00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,407 - Hey. To what do we owe this honor? 85 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:55,676 - Oh, um, well, I just came-- 86 00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,645 - Oh, right, the Kirkwood stabbing. 87 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,648 I heard about that. That poor nun. 88 00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,950 - Not actually a real nun, by the way-- 89 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,418 just a woman in a costume. 90 00:03:04,452 --> 00:03:06,554 - But still, stabbed right in the face--oh. 91 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,556 Yeah. - Terrible Halloween. 92 00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:11,559 - Hey, did you see? I'm a hot dog. 93 00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,428 - I did. - Yeah. 94 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:17,665 - * I want you in my life 95 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,368 * For all time 96 00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:22,770 * 97 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,573 - Happy Halloween! Bye! 98 00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:27,741 - [laughs] I love how into Halloween you are. 99 00:03:27,775 --> 00:03:29,710 - Oh, my God, it's my favorite day of the year. 100 00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:31,679 And later, I get to go trick-or-treating with Emma, 101 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:32,813 which is the best. 102 00:03:32,846 --> 00:03:33,747 - Hmm. 103 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:36,350 - Oh, and it doesn't get any cuter than this. 104 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,586 - Left and right and whoo-whoo! 105 00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:40,588 Come on, keep doing the candy dance. 106 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:42,590 Left and right and-- 107 00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:44,558 Oh, look, it's working! 108 00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:47,461 It's working! Way to go! 109 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:49,497 - Ma'am, you realize that candy from strangers 110 00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,599 can contain razor blades and heroin needles, right? 111 00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,267 - I'm sorry? 112 00:03:53,301 --> 00:03:55,336 - Dina, again, 113 00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:57,738 I did not put heroin needles in the candy. 114 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:58,872 - I'm not saying you did. 115 00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:01,342 I'm just saying, best-case scenario: free chocolate bar. 116 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,776 Worst-case scenario: "Trainspotting." 117 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:05,546 - Okay. Thanks anyway. 118 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:07,448 - That's what I thought. 119 00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:09,817 - You have to stop harassing the customers. 120 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,619 - I will not apologize for my commitment 121 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:13,721 to our customers' safety. 122 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:17,291 - Dina, don't make me have to-- - What? 123 00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,393 - What would you do if you were me? 124 00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:20,428 - Oh, Glenn, if I was you, 125 00:04:20,461 --> 00:04:21,695 I would've killed myself years ago. 126 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:23,397 - Okay. - Dina? 127 00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:26,300 You know, I think I saw some really sketchy types 128 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,668 headed for the stockroom. 129 00:04:27,701 --> 00:04:28,602 - Sounds suspicious. 130 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,638 - Yeah, they were-- they were carrying, uh, 131 00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:32,773 toilet paper and shaving cream. 132 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,774 - What? 133 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:34,842 Those are exactly the things 134 00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,510 I said to look out for. 135 00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:38,579 It's like I just talk to myself in this store. 136 00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,515 - Thanks, Amy. 137 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,751 I was really gonna let her have it. 138 00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,520 - Has anyone noticed anything out of the ordinary back here? 139 00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:48,456 - Well, it's Halloween, so everything's 140 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,757 kind of out of the ordinary. 141 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,560 - Get out of my way, Janay. 142 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,294 - It's Janet. 143 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:56,797 - Why is this unlocked? 144 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,667 Janay, who unlocked this? 145 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:03,337 - * Caught up in the rapture of love * 146 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,706 * 147 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:09,076 - Funny, I've never been, uh-- 148 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:11,345 never been assigned here before. 149 00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,613 - Hmm. 150 00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:13,914 - Jewelry's a real can of worms 151 00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:15,783 in terms of feminism, you know? 152 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,651 [chuckles] 153 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:18,819 - Uh-huh. 154 00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:22,556 - [inhales sharply] This is great. 155 00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:23,857 This is great, us working together. 156 00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,093 I feel like we never really had the chance to--to-- 157 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:28,729 to bond, really. 158 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,598 - Yeah, totally. 159 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,807 - Attention, Cloud 9 shoppers, 160 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,443 I vant to suck your blood 161 00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,144 and test it for diabetes. 162 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,880 At-home insulin kits are now half off. 163 00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:49,517 Are you looking for spook-tacular savings? 164 00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:51,852 Because Cloud 9 has it all. 165 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:54,655 You can get, um, the-- 166 00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:55,723 [stammers] 167 00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,893 [gulps] Uh... 168 00:05:59,927 --> 00:06:02,563 Attention, shoppers, I vant to suck your blood. 169 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:03,731 Oh, I did that one. 170 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,866 Oh. - Everybody freeze! 171 00:06:05,899 --> 00:06:08,769 There's been an employee theft in the store. 172 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,672 Nobody can leave. I repeat, no one. 173 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:15,876 Well, sorry, I-I actually just meant the employees. 174 00:06:15,909 --> 00:06:17,945 Customers can leave. 175 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:21,449 So...unfreeze. 176 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,687 You okay? You look sick. 177 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,789 - Sick? Yeah, I'm sick. 178 00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:36,797 - At 8:24, a crate of irregular produce was put in the cage 179 00:06:36,830 --> 00:06:38,632 to be returned to fulfillment and destroyed. 180 00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:39,833 Now it's missing. - I'm sorry. 181 00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:42,803 Irregular produce? You mean rotten? 182 00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:45,606 - No, what I'm talking about is lumps, bumps, extra appendages, 183 00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,841 apples that look like pears, pears that look like guavas. 184 00:06:47,875 --> 00:06:50,444 - So we're just throwing away perfectly good food 185 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:51,712 because it's ugly? 186 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,514 - Looks matter, Jonah. 187 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,684 You should know that, being the prettiest person in here. 188 00:06:56,717 --> 00:06:58,852 - I will be interrogating each and every one of you. 189 00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:01,188 No one leaves until I find out who did it. 190 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:02,189 - Ugh, come on. - No. 191 00:07:02,222 --> 00:07:03,524 - No! - What? 192 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,558 - No, you can't just keep us here. 193 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:06,560 I'm going trick-or-treating with my daughter. 194 00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,762 - Yeah, I have a date... uh, with a good book. 195 00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,465 - I'm going to a screening of "Nosferatu" at the Tivoli, 196 00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:12,533 if anybody wants to come. 197 00:07:12,566 --> 00:07:14,868 - Wow, that sounds really terrible. 198 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,470 - Okay, listen, none of this is my problem. 199 00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:18,739 Justice does not stop for your plans. 200 00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,641 - Glenn, you're not gonna let her do this to us, right? 201 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,775 - Absolutely not. 202 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,644 - Interrogations start immediately. 203 00:07:23,677 --> 00:07:26,146 - Well, if it's already starting... 204 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:27,648 - Man. 205 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:30,651 ["Halloween" theme music] 206 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:35,689 * 207 00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:38,992 - So, Amy Dubanowski. 208 00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:43,764 Perfect, perfect, perfect, perfect Amy Dubanowski. 209 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:45,533 - Why would I steal a crate of fruit? 210 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,734 - I don't know. 211 00:07:46,767 --> 00:07:48,736 I mean, clearly you've been having trouble making ends meet: 212 00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,538 neglecting your personal hygiene, 213 00:07:50,571 --> 00:07:52,506 the old clothes, busted-up shoes, 214 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,241 the ratty hair, hints of meth mouth. 215 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:55,543 - Okay, I'm leaving. 216 00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:56,810 - Uh-uh, you're not going anywhere 217 00:07:56,844 --> 00:07:58,612 until you answer all of my questions. 218 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,249 Did you take the fruit? - No. 219 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,852 - Then you can go. 220 00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:05,953 By the way... 221 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:06,754 - What? 222 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,889 - That headpiece looks great on you. 223 00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:12,259 - Oh. Thank you. 224 00:08:12,292 --> 00:08:15,996 - Topics, topics, topics... 225 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:19,533 Oh, uh, who do you think stole the produce? 226 00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:22,603 - I was thinking, okay, maybe Marcus. 227 00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:25,673 He's been to prison before for public peeing. 228 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,575 - Really? 229 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:31,244 Well, I was thinking Mary, 230 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:34,281 because I heard that she's drinking again. 231 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,583 - No. 232 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,985 - Mm-hmm. [chuckles] 233 00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:39,820 - Alcohol? 234 00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,655 - I think so, yeah. 235 00:08:51,632 --> 00:08:53,567 - It's the--it's the bun. 236 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:55,769 [Violent Femmes' "Gone Daddy Gone"] 237 00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:57,905 - I can't help but notice that you're sweating. 238 00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,841 Got any secrets you'd like to share? 239 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:01,675 - No. 240 00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:03,844 - You know, some thieves have a tell-- 241 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,813 like talking with your hand over your mouth. 242 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,014 - Oh. 243 00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,851 - You don't have the courage or the intelligence 244 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,085 to have stolen anything. 245 00:09:12,119 --> 00:09:13,854 - Then why are you even talking to me? 246 00:09:13,887 --> 00:09:15,656 - I just wanted you to know that. 247 00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,591 - Did I steal the fruit? No. 248 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,860 Was it an act of civil disobedience that I admire? 249 00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:20,894 Yes. 250 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,730 Do I know who stole it? 251 00:09:22,763 --> 00:09:23,731 No. 252 00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:25,733 - Stop interrogating yourself. 253 00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:28,068 - Maybe you put the fruit somewhere and forgot. 254 00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:30,738 One time, I texted Bo that I couldn't find my phone, 255 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:33,340 and then he's like "Hey, dummy, what are you texting me on?" 256 00:09:33,373 --> 00:09:37,845 And I'm like "Oh, yeah, right. Goofy face emoji." 257 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,013 - * Eyes will turn blue 258 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,281 - [grunts] 259 00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:42,282 What was that? 260 00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,984 - Do I like fruit? Yes. 261 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:46,754 What's my favorite fruit? Tropical. 262 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,021 Be more specific. 263 00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:49,990 Mango. 264 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:51,992 - There's something about you I just don't trust. 265 00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,061 * 266 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,062 - * Gone away 267 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,031 - Okay. Let's do this. 268 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,033 - Did you steal the fruit? - No. 269 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,034 - You can go. 270 00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,736 - * Gone away 271 00:10:02,770 --> 00:10:04,104 - What if she doesn't find out who did it? 272 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,073 - Can she just keep us here all night? 273 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,074 - No! 274 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:08,075 I have to be home in an hour 275 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,376 to trick-or-treat with Emma. 276 00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:10,711 [sighs] 277 00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,781 [gasps] 278 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:17,985 [whispering] Will all employees please meet me in the warehouse 279 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,853 for a secret meeting? 280 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:22,422 Don't tell Dina. 281 00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:23,857 Secret meeting. 282 00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:25,793 - Smart. 283 00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,761 - We all have plans tonight, right? 284 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:28,929 - Yeah. - Why you looking at me? 285 00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,832 I don't have any plans. Why... 286 00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:34,935 - Okay, well, plans or no plans, whoever took the fruit 287 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,804 should just give it back, 288 00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:38,939 and we'll just tell Dina that it was misplaced. 289 00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,007 Okay? - Yes. 290 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,008 - Yeah? - Okay. 291 00:10:41,041 --> 00:10:42,009 - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. 292 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,043 - Great. 293 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:44,878 So who took it? 294 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:48,782 Come on, guys. 295 00:10:48,816 --> 00:10:49,750 No one's perfect. 296 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:52,820 I used to shoplift from the mall all the time. 297 00:10:52,853 --> 00:10:54,955 Mostly black lipstick. I was going through a phase. 298 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,691 But we all do things we regret. So... 299 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,860 - I'm not even a member of the Sierra Club. 300 00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:01,394 I just put the sticker on my bumper. 301 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:02,696 - I don't pay taxes. 302 00:11:02,730 --> 00:11:04,097 - I catfished my school nurse, 303 00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,933 and she ended up moving to Australia 304 00:11:05,966 --> 00:11:07,735 to meet a picture of Michael Fassbender 305 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:08,902 when he was young. 306 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:12,439 - Okay, does anybody want to confess to taking the fruit? 307 00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:17,177 - I have some questions about what Cheyenne said. 308 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:19,980 - Fine. Forget it. 309 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,115 - She works at a smoothie stand on the beach now. 310 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,084 - Hmm. - I think she's happy. 311 00:11:24,117 --> 00:11:30,123 - * I believe you can get me through the night * 312 00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:34,461 - Hey, man, if Dina asks where I am, cover for me. 313 00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,063 - Why? What's going on? 314 00:11:36,096 --> 00:11:39,066 - Between us, I can't be around Dina in that costume. 315 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,968 It's like, my rational brain says 316 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,202 that's the same crazy fascist 317 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,104 that physically removed gum from my mouth, 318 00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,908 but my caveman brain says, "Hey, man, boobs." 319 00:11:47,941 --> 00:11:49,810 It's very confusing. 320 00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:53,513 - You could just not look at her... 321 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:56,884 - Have you seen my eye line? It's unavoidable. 322 00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:59,219 - Fair enough. - Just keep it on the DL. 323 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,790 - All right, I got you, son. - Oh, God, don't say that. 324 00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:09,029 - Guess who has a crush on Dina. 325 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,798 - You? 326 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,065 - I called around to other stores. 327 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,501 Obviously, Kirkwood's a no-go with the whole stabbing thing. 328 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:15,969 But Chesterfield doesn't go through their produce 329 00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:17,037 till Friday. 330 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,908 - We'll get their uglies. Good idea. 331 00:12:20,941 --> 00:12:22,242 Hang on. 332 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,811 Oh. 333 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,247 Uh, I can't reach my wallet. 334 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,516 There's a slit between the meat and the bun, 335 00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,518 if you could just snake your hand in. 336 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,254 - Um, I'll buy it. - Okay, thanks. 337 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,257 - The only problem is that Dina put a guard at the door. 338 00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:38,992 - What? 339 00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,194 What do we do? 340 00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:44,097 - We need to come up with some kind of plan. 341 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:50,070 - Oh! [giggling] 342 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,141 [mischievous music] 343 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,179 - Whoa. 344 00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:03,183 This place is lame on a stick. 345 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:04,584 - Really? I don't think it looks that different. 346 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,585 - Seriously? 347 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,386 They've got bedding 348 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,355 where the jewelry's supposed to be. 349 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,423 It's like, what? 350 00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,459 - Okay. Produce, produce, produce. 351 00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:15,362 - It should be aisle ten. - Okay. 352 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,499 - What? 353 00:13:19,532 --> 00:13:21,301 Look how dim it is. 354 00:13:21,334 --> 00:13:23,803 What is this, a nightclub? 355 00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:26,840 - Whoa. 356 00:13:26,874 --> 00:13:29,309 This is wildly inappropriate. 357 00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:31,611 - Well, you've been acting weird and avoiding me all day. 358 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:33,480 - [laughing] No, I haven't. 359 00:13:33,513 --> 00:13:35,548 I've just been keeping my head down, 360 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:38,251 keeping my mind on work, you know. 361 00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:41,354 - Wow, so guilty, you can't even look at me, can you? 362 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,890 - I'm looking right at you. 363 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,525 - Excuse me, we're having a private conversation. 364 00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:47,360 Thank you. 365 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,530 - Ugly. Ugly. 366 00:13:50,563 --> 00:13:51,899 - Wait, wait. 367 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:54,301 This one looks like Matthew McConaughey. 368 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,337 "All right, all right, all right." 369 00:13:57,370 --> 00:14:00,507 - That's really good, Mateo, but we need to focus. 370 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,875 Ooh. 371 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:04,945 [both laugh] 372 00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,414 You know what? This one's all nasty. 373 00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,950 How about you take one of the nicer-looking grapefruit? 374 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,518 - Oh, I don't care how it looks. - Good. 375 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,153 Well, then if you don't care what it looks like, 376 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,354 you can just take one of these. 377 00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:16,389 - I want this one. - Why? 378 00:14:16,423 --> 00:14:18,658 - Because I want it, and I need it. 379 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,527 - No, you don't need this one. - Yes, I do. 380 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,429 - Okay, just give it to me. - I had it first. 381 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,531 - Just give her the ugly [bleep] grapefruit! 382 00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,305 [clears throat] Sorry. 383 00:14:32,339 --> 00:14:34,541 I just want you to be able to go trick-or-treating with your son. 384 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,576 - Daughter. - Whatever. 385 00:14:41,949 --> 00:14:43,516 - That's narrow. 386 00:14:45,352 --> 00:14:46,619 Excuse me. - Hmm? 387 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,355 - Where are your bathrooms? 388 00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,290 - Just back and to the right. 389 00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:53,160 - [scoffs] You're joking, right? 390 00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,394 - I-I don't believe so. 391 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,696 - I'm amazed you guys stay open, honestly. 392 00:14:56,729 --> 00:14:57,697 - Hey, Bobby. 393 00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,366 I finished marking down the clearance items. 394 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,233 - Great! 395 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,935 Why don't you work on the shrink reports? 396 00:15:01,969 --> 00:15:05,172 - Will do, boss. - All right. 397 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,975 - Wait, is that your assistant manager? 398 00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,978 - Oh, yeah, Kelly. She's the best. 399 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,546 - She was so nice to you. 400 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:15,348 - She's nice... 401 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:16,683 to me, yeah. 402 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,290 Oh, just to the right there. 403 00:15:24,624 --> 00:15:26,726 Sir? Yeah. 404 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,562 There you go. You got it now. 405 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,465 - And Susie went to Mexico for liposuction, 406 00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:33,733 but something happened, 407 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,602 and now she has a bunch of bugs in her butt. 408 00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:39,672 - Wow, I'm really rooting for that story to be true. 409 00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,976 Hey, uh, what do people say about me? 410 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,477 - Nothing. - Oh, come on, come on. 411 00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:45,645 I'm sure you've heard something. 412 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,480 It's fine. It's fine. I can--thick skin. 413 00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:49,382 [chuckles] 414 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:51,718 - Okay, well... 415 00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,720 some people think that you wear a wig, 416 00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:56,489 and some people think that you have a crush on Amy, 417 00:15:56,523 --> 00:15:58,992 and some people think that you're a Sea Org, 418 00:15:59,026 --> 00:15:59,959 whatever that is. 419 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,729 - Wait, people think I have a crush on Amy? 420 00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:06,433 - Mm-hmm. - What? 421 00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:08,501 She's married. That's-- 422 00:16:08,535 --> 00:16:10,037 I mean, not that you can't have a crush 423 00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,438 on someone who's married, 424 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,273 but I mean, you know, yuck. 425 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,641 You know, not yuck. I think she's pretty. 426 00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:16,376 But she's not, like, pretty-pretty. 427 00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,411 I mean, she's--I don't know. That's insane. 428 00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,047 Who's saying-- like, who specifically-- 429 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,314 who's saying that? 430 00:16:21,348 --> 00:16:23,416 - Just people. Like, everyone. 431 00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:29,289 - Kelly will do, like, anything Bobby asks. 432 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,424 You know, Bobby will be like, "Hey, Kelly, do this," 433 00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:34,061 and Kelly will be like, "With pleasure, Bobby." 434 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:36,663 And then Bobby will be like, "Thanks, Kelly." 435 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,731 - Glenn, I don't know who either of those people are. 436 00:16:38,765 --> 00:16:41,768 [cell phone ringing] Oh. 437 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:45,405 Hey! - Hi, Mom. 438 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,074 - Hi, baby, I know I'm running late, 439 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,609 but I promise you I'm not gonna miss trick-or-treating. 440 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:52,779 - Actually, is it okay if I go to Finley's house instead? 441 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:55,548 Dad said he'd drop me off. - Oh. 442 00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:59,052 Um, I-- Yeah, yeah. 443 00:16:59,086 --> 00:17:00,687 I mean, if you want. 444 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:02,689 - Really? - Yeah. 445 00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:06,459 Yes, yes, of course. It's cool. 446 00:17:06,493 --> 00:17:08,361 That just means more candy for me. 447 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:10,697 Num, num, num, num, num, num. 448 00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,433 - Oh, sweetie. Hang up. 449 00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:15,402 - Thanks, Mom! - Yeah. 450 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:16,569 - Bye, Emma! 451 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:19,539 It's Glenn. I'm a hot dog. 452 00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:22,142 - Okay. 453 00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:25,745 - Garrett, Garrett, Garrett, 454 00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:28,348 Garrett, Garrett, Garrett... 455 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,317 Garrett. 456 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,851 What are you thinking about right now? 457 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,154 Hmm? Fruit, maybe? 458 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,855 What kind of fruit-- tart little kiwis? 459 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,425 No, I bet you like big, juicy melons, don't you? 460 00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,826 - Come on, you know what you're doing here. 461 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,794 - Yeah, I do. Catching a thief. 462 00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,196 - [sighs] 463 00:17:43,230 --> 00:17:46,366 - Now, listen. 464 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:49,302 Just admit what you did, and we can end this right now. 465 00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:51,204 - All right, fine, okay? I took the fruit. 466 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,773 Whatever it takes. Just get me out of here. 467 00:17:53,806 --> 00:17:56,243 - See? 468 00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,510 Doesn't that feel better? 469 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,846 - I'm having the weirdest day. 470 00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,849 [slow music] 471 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,184 * 472 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:07,854 - Hey. - Hey. 473 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:09,489 What happened to your costume? 474 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:13,726 - I just didn't feel like wearing it anymore. 475 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,863 Emma wants to hang out with her friends tonight instead of me. 476 00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,499 - Oh, that's a bummer. 477 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,268 - Yeah. - I'm sorry. 478 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:24,471 But it's, you know-- it's normal, right? 479 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:26,406 - Yeah, I guess. It's-- 480 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:28,341 Yes, yes, it's normal. 481 00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:32,479 It's just, I just thought I had, like, one 482 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,814 or maybe two more years with her. 483 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:36,783 - Yeah. - You know, it's weird. 484 00:18:36,816 --> 00:18:40,353 It's like, you bring home this cute little baby, 485 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,355 and all they want is to be with you, 486 00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:44,157 like, every second of every day, 487 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:45,858 and then they grow up, 488 00:18:45,892 --> 00:18:48,428 and you're proud, of course, 489 00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,498 but--but also sad and lonely. 490 00:18:51,531 --> 00:18:53,566 - Yeah, no, babies are hilarious. 491 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,236 I should probably get back out there. 492 00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,304 [clears throat] 493 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:04,377 - "I admit I stole the fruit 494 00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:07,447 like some Saudi Arabian street rat." 495 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,349 You want me to sign this? - Yes, I do. 496 00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,518 [door opens] - Stop the interrogation. 497 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,820 We found it, yeah. 498 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:18,391 Look, crazy story-- it had fallen behind something. 499 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:22,395 - Interesting, because Garrett just confessed to stealing it, 500 00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,264 so somebody here is lying. 501 00:19:24,297 --> 00:19:26,266 - [sighs] - You know what? 502 00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:27,534 I don't know what's going on here, 503 00:19:27,567 --> 00:19:29,202 but I intend to find out. 504 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,504 And if I have to keep everyone here all night to do it, 505 00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:34,274 so be it. 506 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,876 - No! - I'm sorry, what? 507 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:40,280 - I said no! This is over, okay? 508 00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,814 I'm the Bobby here! 509 00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:45,952 And if you don't like it, you can go kick a cow! 510 00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:49,289 So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go home 511 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:52,292 and cut myself out of this hot dog costume 512 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,294 and make love to my wife-- 513 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,963 if she's up for it. 514 00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,469 - * How you gonna do it if you really won't take a chance * 515 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:04,437 * By standing on the wall 516 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:06,439 * Get your back up off the wall * 517 00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,375 * 'Cause I heard all the people sayin'... * 518 00:20:10,009 --> 00:20:11,378 - [sighs] 519 00:20:11,411 --> 00:20:12,379 Hey. 520 00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:14,447 - Hey, come on in. 521 00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:16,583 - Ahh. Oof. - Come on in. 522 00:20:16,616 --> 00:20:18,318 - I got the seat warmer on for you. 523 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,519 I put it on level one; that's my favorite 524 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,620 'cause I don't think it's-- 525 00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:21,921 I think it's, like, just warm enough, 526 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:22,989 you know, where you're-- 527 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,857 You can put it on any level you want, is the point. 528 00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,359 - It's great. - Okay. 529 00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,328 - Ooh, toasty tush. - Yeah. 530 00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,996 - Okay, we should go before someone sees us. 531 00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,931 - Oh, yes, good call. 532 00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:36,903 - Mm-hmm. 533 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,038 - Do you guys have any plans? 534 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,007 - We're seeing "Nosferatu." 535 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,343 - Yeah, I don't know why I'm going, 536 00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:45,578 but I'm just in a weird head space today. 537 00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:47,714 - Which is exactly how you want to see German expressionism. 538 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:48,915 - Mm. 539 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:51,318 - Uh, do you want to come? - Uh... 540 00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:52,919 - I mean, if you want to. 541 00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,887 I don't care if you're there. 542 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,489 You could be there or not be there. 543 00:20:56,523 --> 00:20:59,659 It means nothing to me if you're there, at all. 544 00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:01,961 - You've charmed me. I'm in. 545 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,062 - What are you in? 546 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:05,398 - Uh, we're going to see some terrible German film. 547 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,699 - The fact that it's German is irrelevant. 548 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:07,567 It's silent. 549 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,536 - Oh, this just keeps getting better. 550 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:12,004 - All right, I'm in too. But I call both armrests. 551 00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:14,307 - Uh, you should probably button up your jacket, though, 552 00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:16,543 'cause it's gonna be cold. 553 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:18,911 - Incidentally, I'm-- I'm Brexit. 554 00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:21,948 How has nobody asked me about that all day?